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and tuesday;; but that's not important right now.
Mike may or may not be hanging out with Greg.
No problems there;; I'm not his ENTIRE life;; just his love.
My problem is;; wtf am I going to do?
I have no body to hang out with.
My only friends have school;; and I can tell Mike doesn't want me with him and Greg.
(Regarding the above comment;; Kaytee, you do have school, just in another state, which only makes it harder. =])
Maybe I'll go to the high school.
See what's going on.
Be attacked by thousands.
lol.
TJ might kill me.
But I need something to do.
hmmm....
I'm going to email Steve. =p
-ahem- I mean Mr. Honicki.
hahaahha
okies.
I just, I don't want to be alone.
=[
-tear-
- Location:Bed
- Mood:
I love Mike so very much. =]<3 - Music:99.5 WRVE dah river. =p
but im going to do it.
im going to be strong.
im going to work harder then ever.
because i want this.
i want you.
i know i caused a lot of pain.
and i tried to fix it.
but im going to try harder.
this will be the last time i loose you.
i cant do this alone.
but i have no one to hold me.
i have no one close enough to keep me sane.
i only have you.
i can't ask you to help me with this.
because you are part of this.
how could i ask you to hold me while i cry over you?
while i dont eat for days and throw up nothing?
i cant ask that of you.
you will always be my friend first.
you always have been.
but now having to go back to it is just so hard.
i just want you to be able to stand by my side.
but im the reason you left.
the pain i caused, the hurt i inflicted.
none of it intentionally.
but that cant save me now.
im working hard.
so hard.
to win you back.
i will fight for you.
i will show you my feelings are true.
my love unconditional.
i can be strong without you.
but i indulge too much of the pleasure of you at my side.
no one will understand that i may need you more then i have ever needed anything.
but i will do without.
because you are important to me.
i want to see you the second i get home.
to be in your arms,
and have us know,
that these few days.
i made it.
i resisted.
i loved you.
and kept my distance.
to feel your kisses, so sweet.
to feel you hugs, so tight.
to feel your love, so warm.
and know.
that forever is ours.
if we believe.
and i do believe.
in my heart.
we will be together again.
we will be happy again.
and we will never need another source of happiness,
for we have each other.
"he loves her, it's as simple as that. And yet, it's more."
I will love you.
long past the time when my heart stops beating.
all i ask of you is to act back on your love,
and take me back.
ive told you i will work for it.
i will.
just be mine again.
giving you up hurts more then death.
because knowing you love love me
and yet, will not be with me.
knowing you loved me enough to ask me out,
when i already had a boyfriend.
and now.
we are turning away from each other.
i made you a promise.
and i will keep it.
i will change.
i will stop.
all i ask is for you to come back.
for you to act on your love,
and be mine again.
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "
i love you.
- Location:Lake George
- Mood:
awake
Me and Mike was playing GH3.
I can now play on hard.
In Co-op.
as the bass player.
YEY!
- Location:Mike's Bed
- Mood:
confused - Music:Mike's feet on the floor.
mike got a random IM from someone me him and tj didn't know.
so they we're asking each other questions and this is one asked.
mike is red
-sqwee!-
in other news;;
tj got a job. and i still dont have one.
-dies inside-
...he really loves me...<3
- Location:Bed
- Mood:
>. - Music:Disturbed's New CD
Mike's home
(currently at work =[)
Half of my lawn has been mowed.
My cat is licking me...but like my foot and my bewb, wtf?
I can txt mike for free.
He's home.
He got me a ton of gifts.
(if you see him, slap his arm or something.)
I have become obsessed with watching "Deadliest Catch" on Discovery.
I've also been watching a lot of Bravo.
Mike's bringing over more anime for me to watch.
and he's going to let me start a WoW account.
And also paying for my Dragon Amulet on Dragon Fable =]
We had a talk.
I said as long as I don't lose him to video games,
he can spend his money on whatever he wants.
I just don't want to be forgotten,
but can you blame me?
I'm becoming more of a girl.
I got a purse.
But it's pretty.
and as Kaytee knows,
I have more skirts. [1]
So yeh,
Mike wins.
....when he smiles.
(currently at work =[)
Half of my lawn has been mowed.
My cat is licking me...but like my foot and my bewb, wtf?
I can txt mike for free.
He's home.
He got me a ton of gifts.
(if you see him, slap his arm or something.)
I have become obsessed with watching "Deadliest Catch" on Discovery.
I've also been watching a lot of Bravo.
Mike's bringing over more anime for me to watch.
and he's going to let me start a WoW account.
And also paying for my Dragon Amulet on Dragon Fable =]
We had a talk.
I said as long as I don't lose him to video games,
he can spend his money on whatever he wants.
I just don't want to be forgotten,
but can you blame me?
I'm becoming more of a girl.
I got a purse.
But it's pretty.
and as Kaytee knows,
I have more skirts. [1]
So yeh,
Mike wins.
....when he smiles.
- Location:Bed
- Mood:ho-hum
- Music:Deadliest Catch
Maybe that's why i can't sleep.
He's asleep on the phone right now.
i'm trying not to wake him up.
i feel so alone and empty now that he's not sleeping next to me.
he asked if he could come over around 1o pm.
then got bitched at for not having me come with him.
so no, he didn't come over.
we both thought i couldn't go cuz he had to leave.
but he had nothing to do when he got there.
im so bored without him here.
he doesnt come home till wednesday. i may not see him till after he gets out of work on thrusday.
i dont know if im going to go to the concert tonight.
i should.
mike told me to.
he knows i love singing.
i harass him that we're going Alt Prom.
and he has no choice. =]
oh. and i have wireless now.
enough for now.
signing off at 4o5 am. yey.
- Location:bed
- Mood:
cold - Music:tv
I don't relly have the time to say anything;;
since I have TONS!!! of work to do.
BTS;; Breaking The Silence
it was good. saw everyone.
dragged mikie.
had a play fight with gregg.
miss the old days of me and him goofing off// BEFORE we dated && after
I like being friends and hanging out with him...
anywho...
i really don't think any one really cared I was there.
and i left early, headache was my excuse
i couldn't take being in there.
i was having an episode
sorry kaytee!!!
sad Jaytee wasn't there, i want to meet himmm!!!
uhmmm yeh.
anywho.
ttyl.
[[gitchi gitchi goo<33]]
since I have TONS!!! of work to do.
BTS;; Breaking The Silence
it was good. saw everyone.
dragged mikie.
had a play fight with gregg.
miss the old days of me and him goofing off// BEFORE we dated && after
I like being friends and hanging out with him...
anywho...
i really don't think any one really cared I was there.
and i left early, headache was my excuse
i couldn't take being in there.
i was having an episode
sorry kaytee!!!
sad Jaytee wasn't there, i want to meet himmm!!!
uhmmm yeh.
anywho.
ttyl.
[[gitchi gitchi goo<33]]
- Location:Printmaking Room
- Mood:
annoyed - Music:Scatman;; Scatman's World
god knows how many papers I haven't done for humanities.
I'd rather help Mike pass and graduate so we can be together with less stress then the two us freaking out =]
so much homework NO time what-so-ever.
wayne's going to help with papers.
GOOD STUFF
| |<<<this close to having my liscense i drive every weekend, wherever i want to go, as long as mike is with me. just the two of us. i think sat i took 5 people in a 4 seater... [mike.me.temple.tj.BBB] there was like NO room for BBB then monday i took miranda to the mall and we spent like... 4 hours there. and saw "horton hear's a who". i <3 jojo. i wants to marry him. he's the cutest who alive! even if he does live on a speck "a persons a person, no matter how small." i'll update more.... =]
- Location:Art History
- Mood: pissed off
PLUS she got all grrr and said she doesn't trust me with a gun.
cuz I'm totally going to shoot Mike.
then we get home and Zorro barks at me... like every other day.
and i was petting him and playing around and was like
"do i have to beat you to get you to like me?"
ad his mom bitched me out.
so yeh...
i've been hiding in the room all day.
brightside?
I'll be in Florida in 4 days.
With the side of the family that cares about me.
I wanna take Mike but I can't.
So that will be the first 8 days away from each other.
Yupp...
that's about the only good.
I just want Mike to graduate and get a car.
Then I'll be gone.
For good.
sorry guys. When Mike and me get situated...
I won't be in America anymore.
...just take me away from here.
- Location:The room
- Mood: annoyed
- Music:Dirty Jobs
been a while.
CUT TO THE CHASE
I is angry.
Mike's mum and gma won't ever let him use the car.
1]They don't want him wrecking it in the snow.
But he took his lessons all winter.
-insert ashley getting bitched at by his mum-
Yes; I was bitched at for adding a simple comment.
2]I'm not mature enough to be in the car with him.
ok....WTF?!?!?! she honestly thinks I'm going to fuck around with him driving?!
what kind of retard do I look like?
Do I honestly look like the kind of kid who would grab his arm while driving or something?
3]He's not on the insurance.
And neither is Vin; but he gets the other family car to himself.
Yes; they have two family cars, and he can't use either.
and there was a 4... but I forgot....
But they pushed him to get his license, and now won't let him use it.
So tonight when he takes me out, we get to walk. yey?
ljarghargahgiGODDAMMITFUCKINGDIEYOUBITCH
- Location:My room / Mike's room
- Mood: aggravated
- Music:Mike talking
for you to shine so bright,
to pierce the darkness in my eart,
and fill it with absolute."
-- Mike
"Everyday... Every morning... Every night...
I'm with you.
I see you more and more as my loving wife
then as my girlfriend.
That's why I always smile when I look at you
as well as being very happy.
<3"
--Mike
soooooooooooo
I love him.
yupp.
might be my only year of college
because I don't wanna be around people anymore.
I'm sick of being around people
except Mike.
I love my friends
but I dont wanna be around 24/7.
I do love you, my friends, i do.
...you are my happiness.
- Location:Dorm
- Mood: happy
- Music:TV
at work wif Mikewad.
boredddd.
that's all folks.
...i never want it to end.
boredddd.
that's all folks.
...i never want it to end.
- Location:Mac Lab
- Mood: awake
- Music:Dr. Who
I ended up spending last night at Mike's.
and then he's spending tonight and tomorrow night.
and then saturday.
and then sunday I'm going to his house.
but sadly ge can't stay friday...
cuz PJ will be here.
[grr]
Pj is really starting to piss me off.
I don't wanna be around him anymore.
I really don't want anything to do with him.
I mean...yeh...I love him.
but not to the point of spending eternity with him;; not anymore.
and I feel like all my friends who were like family are gone;; like Leigh and Hannah and Teresa.
But fortunately I still have KT and Wayne and Brian.
annnnnnnnnd
idk
im ranting.
but that's ok, that's what blogs are for.
and there's a girl i cnt stop thinking about.
i hope she's ok.
i hope she'll be alright.
...why can't things just be alright?
and then he's spending tonight and tomorrow night.
and then saturday.
and then sunday I'm going to his house.
but sadly ge can't stay friday...
cuz PJ will be here.
[grr]
Pj is really starting to piss me off.
I don't wanna be around him anymore.
I really don't want anything to do with him.
I mean...yeh...I love him.
but not to the point of spending eternity with him;; not anymore.
and I feel like all my friends who were like family are gone;; like Leigh and Hannah and Teresa.
But fortunately I still have KT and Wayne and Brian.
annnnnnnnnd
idk
im ranting.
but that's ok, that's what blogs are for.
and there's a girl i cnt stop thinking about.
i hope she's ok.
i hope she'll be alright.
...why can't things just be alright?
- Location:Beddd
- Music:How it's Made
he'll have to go home.
First night in 5 nights Mike won't be sleeping with me.
It'll be hard.
But he brought his spray to spray down my bed...
make it feel like he's here.
BTW
I get Jupiter next week.
or maybe tomorrow.
>.<
yeh for stuff animal kids.
And Mini Panda.
I get both Kids for the weekend.
or when ever he takes them back.
They don't love you like I love you....
First night in 5 nights Mike won't be sleeping with me.
It'll be hard.
But he brought his spray to spray down my bed...
make it feel like he's here.
BTW
I get Jupiter next week.
or maybe tomorrow.
>.<
yeh for stuff animal kids.
And Mini Panda.
I get both Kids for the weekend.
or when ever he takes them back.
They don't love you like I love you....
- Location:Humanities
- Mood:
lonely - Music:Dr. Soleau
i'm bored.
boy is at a friends for quite some time.
everyone's in class;;
cept paulie, who went home.
i don't wanna do my homework.
PJ is making a random pop up visit;;
so all traces of boy must be hidden.
BLARGH!
so yeh....
i'm bored and alone ad sick.
guess i have no choice but to do homework.
...you will never save me...
boy is at a friends for quite some time.
everyone's in class;;
cept paulie, who went home.
i don't wanna do my homework.
PJ is making a random pop up visit;;
so all traces of boy must be hidden.
BLARGH!
so yeh....
i'm bored and alone ad sick.
guess i have no choice but to do homework.
...you will never save me...
- Location:dorm
- Mood:
bored - Music:Crossing Jordan
yuppyupp.
you heard it right.
there's actually a boy out there that makes ME happy.
too bad we can't date...
you heard it right.
there's actually a boy out there that makes ME happy.
too bad we can't date...
- Location:Dorm
- Music:Crossing Jordan
